If you’re only left sexually frustrated by being bombarded with two-dimensional images of the delectable Miss Kardashian, then “Kinky Kim” may be the perfect remedy for all your pent-up angst. Part of the ‘Super Star’ series of blow-up dolls, this life-size replica is the ultimate adult toy. Whether you’re lacking female company or just want to spice things up a bit in the bedroom, you would never dream of having so much fun with a piece of cyber-silicon. We’re sure that your girlfriend will love it as a birthday present – its got all the benefits of the real thing but without the bitchiness or annoying accent. However, if she’s the sort to take offense easily, she may just decide beat you to death with it.
The byline on the doll’s packaging reads, “When you stick it in her face… it’ll get all over the place!” and features a hungry-looking Kim devouring a cheeseburger whilst mayonnaise drips suggestively down her chin. We are unsure of the subtle allusion here, so if you can decipher the imagery then please get in touch. Other sex dolls by the same makers have included Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce and Lady Gaga, and you’ll be pleased to know that all the dolls have three orifices (unfortunately eyeballs cannot be removed) to satisfy even the wildest of fantasies. Be careful, though. The manufacturer is not liable for any injuries sustained. To the doll that is, not you.